The Like Who I am Marker is part of the next three markers that we call the Capacity Assessment. Self esteem is linked to all the other Life Markers.
Does having a good opinion of yourself mean that you are unified within yourself? When people say “I don’t like myself” then are they saying “one part of myself doesn’t like another part of myself”? This could be likened to a community of people who are divided about the type of community they want to be. As we know, the more divided people are, the harder it is to co operate with each other and achieve good outcomes. Is this so different to the inner conflict when a person has a poor opinion of themselves?
Lack of self esteem can undermine our ability to function well and engage with others.
There are two factors that condition our opinion of ourselves:
1. What Others Think of You
People who have a good opinion of themselves are often more confident and resilient in the face of life’s challenges. It is common sense that the more we feel good about ourselves the more happiness we generate.
When our opinion of ourselves is conditioned by how others think of us then the changing weather of peoples’ opinion can be very destructive, causing stress and unhappiness.
The attachment to people’s opinion of us can affect to our well being, however, when our happiness comes from how we feel about ourselves, regardless of others opinions, we can build sustainable levels of well being.
2. Whether You Live According to Your Core Beliefs and Purpose
You can like who you are when your opinion of yourself is positive, when what you do in life is in harmony with your idea of who you are and what sort of person you want to be. When you go against what you believe is important or how you believe you ideally want to respond to life, you can feel compromised and stressed.
Sometimes we compromise deeply held ethics and feel bad about ourselves, other times we reflect on our experiences in life, making realisations that change our outlook. Such change can lead to wisdom and inner growth.